April 14, 2017
Last chemo today!
Doc said I’ve handled it really well. I swear that if I didn’t know I have cancer, I wouldn’t know I have cancer.
No, it hasn’t been a picnic, but I’m blessed to have caught it early enough to not require more aggressive treatments. Thoughts of others, especially kids dealing with this are heartbreaking. I can only imagine what their parents are going through.
Only one new development to address before we get started…..my right eye is bright red. Looks like a huge blood vessel burst or something. Doc asked if I maybe blew my nose too hard or lifted something heavy.
“Like maybe those round things with a barbell in between them?” I asked.
Rob buried his face in his hands.
We took pictures, thumbs up!
Here we go….one last time. All hooked up, nurses hovering, Benadryl dripping, getting loopy.
Surprise! In walk two dear friends bringing flowers and sweets to celebrate my last day! I will never forget those beautiful, smiling faces.
I’m speechless! The Benadryl has my head fuzzy and my mouth won’t form words clearly. Give me just a few minutes for this to wear off, but right now it must look like I’ve started happy hour early!
They only stayed a short while, but the love they brought is still with me.
Since my white cell count is still good, I may be able to have surgery in as little as two weeks to get this thing OUT of me!
Now my brain is bubbling like champagne on New Year’s Eve…..surgery in early to mid May, recover for a month or so till MAYBE the end of June…….
Is it too early to reclaim July and August as treatment free? Will they throw radiation into the mix? What a royal pain in the butt that would be.
Is it odd that I’m more concerned with the time-consuming aspect of it than with possible side effects?
This cancer thing has taken enough of my time already. I want to be done with it.
I want to spend time with my grandbabies while they’re still babies.
I want to drink wine with my daughter-in-law and go visit my sister.
I want to see how my hair comes back. How long will that take? Will it be thicker? Curly? What if it doesn’t come back? I’ve heard that can happen. Then what? Wigs and scarves forever? Yikes!
And what about this port? It’s starting to get on my nerves. Bra straps keep rubbing against it, chafing my skin. I keep hitting it with dumbbells. (Don’t tell Rob or I’ll never hear the end of it.) Besides, it’s an ugly lump that sticks out about a mile.
Take a chill pill, girl!
So I’ve returned to painting glass for relaxation. Painting #@!#@ glass. For relaxation!!!
If you know me, you know I’ve sold hand painted glass at local craft fairs and grew really, really sick of it. Hacking out a pile of the same style wine glass, because that’s what sells, lugging them around and hoping to make booth rent. I couldn’t challenge myself artistically because most people wanted cheap and disposable. Hubby had to give up his weekends to help and he was getting fed up too.
Funny thing…I’m under no pressure to sell a thing now, and I’m loving the process. It’s, like, Zen or something. Who’d have thought that the thing I’ve grown to dislike so much would become my therapy? I get to make cool stuff and forget about cancer as a bonus!
I think I’ll give this batch to my siblings…..