GIVING UP

Do you ever want to run away somewhere and hide from everything, as if that will make all the bad stuff magically disappear?

Sometimes I feel that way, though I don’t think I have any right to.

My cancer was diagnosed in the early stages.  I had ample insurance coverage and medical care.  I was and continue to be blessed with loving, supportive family.

Whether it’s a blessing or not, I have a fighting spirit.

But if the tables were turned, if the disease had spread, if I couldn’t afford that medical team, would I feel the same?  Would I still want to fight?

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I HATE MY HAIR SO WHY DO I WANT TO HOLD ON?

January 12, 2017

Six days since Chemo #1 and feeling great, the worst of it behind me.  A little queasiness for the first few days, then back to my old self.   Best I can describe it is like mild flu symptoms or feeling a little “off.”  If this is as bad as it gets, I’ll take it!  They say it gets worse as you go along, but then I’ll be done.

Ready for a laugh?  I was filling out a general health questionnaire for an upcoming orthopedist appointment.  First question on the list is “How would you rate your general health…excellent, very good, good, fair or poor?

Seriously?  I have cancer.  Does that count?  I only feel like crap occasionally because of the stuff they’re filling my system with.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

January 1, 2017

Happy New Year!  Prepare for battle.

Sometimes I feel like this isn’t really happening, like I’ll wake up tomorrow and be completely healthy. Like I can wish this away.

I know I don’t have a choice. Well, actually, I do, but know all too well how that will end and  I don’t want my kids watching my body decay as it’s eaten away from the inside out.  I don’t want to leave them standing around my grave wondering why, in the name of everything that is Holy, I didn’t seek medical help.

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